Today seems like a different day,I think we have the capacity to do that, to bring on ‘difference’. After being in India for over 3months I woke up early and cooked myself something to eat, well Im no chef but a fried egg and toast suits me just fine and so does this morning ,there’s something unusual about it, I woke up with this compulsion to write, I get this urge its like my mind anticipates all these thoughts and it suddenly needs an outlet , a framework to support all these ideas that ultimately leads to something more structural. Well to be honest its just a bunch of random thoughts and my ability to try and sort them out.hmm..maybe this isn’t going where its suppose to.
Well lets start again..like I said we always have the ability to do that.
Last night I went through a friends blog ,it was simple concept on time while going through that one blog something interested me and I read on ,her articles were engaging and intriguing for someone my age, I have this theory about 85 year born’s. I was born in 1986 but have always been associated/ interacted with people from BT (Before Tanvi) and in India this hasn’t worked for me and so to read something moderately intellectual from a colleague of the year 85 was fascinating and inspiring at the same time. She also happened to be an old friend from school we shared some good memories and I felt the urge to drop in a line , with the internet revolution this has become easier and while facebook eludes our mind body and soul I thought id put it to some good use. So I sent her this message on the good old days. When life was simple, the funny thing is life really was simple back then, as kids things seemed easy, straightforward, uncomplicated but the irony is that at that age I was dying to be a grown up and this grown up stage post year 20 has been quite infuriating. Although maturity seems to have set in certain ways, fear, insecurity, confusion, anxiety all synonyms in relation- have come to hound me, there is so much that is left hanging and so ive started doing what I should have done a long time ago, taking CONTROL of my life. (As if that ever happens) life can and cannot be controlled and that’s what’s remarkable about it, the minute you think things are going your way , thoughts of ‘it may be the clam before the storm’ spring up.Or maybe that’s just me being pessimistic. But then I must have been quite the idealist to have come so far with hope only. My question is simple and is really on the human spirit and how it defies everything in order to attain what its after. But for what one may ask is it really after –is it all for that one moment of contentment? -I suppose that could be it. My grand mom once told me she said brave little girl- happiness in life is only a dot compared to the line of unhappiness which is a lot more long lasting, I think unhappiness would be a wrong term/word to use here but what she meant was that we go around in circles trying to make everything just right, we try to strike that perfect balance so that we achieve that moment of substance-but the harsh reality is that its so brief and even knowing this consciously we seek it. Is life mocking us?
