Saturday, May 17, 2008

Reminiscing: I am a Bud.

Every transitional phase in life has its moments. Being a teenager surely did. Despite the raging tantrums, temperaments, fights, hideous fashion statements, the one that topped the list the minute you hit puberty (and for some before) was the naïve, never experienced before feeling of- like, infatuation and sometimes even love that had us consumed or should I say confused. There are reflective instances from this period that will make you smile, laugh and even shed a tear, because even if he wasn’t the one, he was the one and only at that point.

The high experienced wasn’t recreational in any way and nor was the low which was so heartfelt. But it was that feeling, in your stomach, the blush of that cheek and the anxiety with which you said your first hello that had you spinning for days.

He was the one you fluffed your hair for, the one you wore that special shinny gloss for and defiantly the one you wrote special things about in your secret diary.
An ode to the boy(s) who said lets play catch –but this time with your heart.

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I was sitting in the classroom bored and restless and in strolls Mrs. Butta and declares a change of seating, my partner is replaced by the intelligent boy genius who with his black rimmed glasses and corny smile manages to make me blush . He answers my math questions when Im left dumbfounded and occasionally helps me with my class work. I respond by sharing my pencils and scold him from time to time about being on his 'side of the table'( we drew a line and everything) but I secretly smile every time he breaks this pact and specially when our elbows bump. He had his principals laid down and so we never played dots during class but during a free period he seldom refrained from doing so. I even called him up a few times to discuss certain homework related questions that I just happened to forgot to note down. He was polite and understanding and encouraged me to pay more attention in class. *sigh* How I admired him. It dint last very long but I remember him still. I don’t think it would have worked out with us as his love for numbers was far more intense than his like for me. And as luck would have it 2 months later our seating order was changed and so I bid him farewell and decided to embrace what was ahead.

Destiny agreed and this time my tryst was going to be a lot more long lasting and exhilarating than before. I remember it like it happened yesterday.

We were walking down the hallway a group of 5 teenage girls with braces and funky looking hairdos which we at the time thought were just so Hip.
Between all the rambling and incoherent conversation, I had no idea what was about to happen.
It was my best friend that suddenly stopped in her tracks and pointed to this guy who she thought was cute, I clearly unaware of what was ahead of me, followed her gaze and froze. Right there next to the water cooler stood a grey eyed guy with a lopsided smile and twinkling eyes that had me captured. He strolled past me casually not realizing that there was something magical about that moment and that life was never going to be the same. There would always be a need to dress well, a motivation to go to school, and master a game I like to call “Pretend I’m not looking but slyly look at him from the corner of my eye”. The damage had already been done; I was left flabbergasted for what seemed like an eternity. Life had set in slow motion and he eluded my mind from then onwards till one day he and the braces left me.

I don’t know when my heart will hop skip and jump like that. In fact these days its all about catch me if you can. (Clearly the player in me has been evoked).
But there is this corner in my heart, a rather bright, colorful one, with memories from another time, and it belongs to them. They will dominate it forever and I will always be grateful for having met them when I did. For it really was a simple time back then.
The recipe for love was different: the ingredients were raw, the method was new and the product was fresh… And I ate happily, crushing every bite savoring every moment.

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